Stress Pimples and Snatched Jawlines

major takeaways and advice from my wedding

Hello!!! Remember me?

I have physically returned from wedding land though I am very much still mentally and emotionally there. It’s a lot to process and I don’t want it to be over! My wedding weekend was truly wonderful and I can’t wait to share all the details with you. I personally loooove reading wedding recaps and am hoping you do too. I will try my best not to be annoying!

Wedding skin is something I’ve thought about considerably since 2016–years before I got engaged and before I became an esthetician–thanks to Emily Weiss’ infamous Wedding Beauty Black Book. I know I’m not alone in saying her 8/10 happiness rating on how she looked has been imprinted in my mind since then and it probably won’t surprise you to learn that when I got engaged over 2 years ago, I had a lot of plans for my skin.

But, a lot of stuff can change in 2 years and a lot of stuff did change for me, personally and professionally. I wasn’t able to dedicate the time or energy I anticipated. My concerns, goals (and finances and mental health) shifted many times and caused me to re-evaluate.

The good news is, since I knew I’d be writing about my wedding skincare, I was diligent about documenting everything from engagement through the literal morning of my wedding–my concerns, my plans, my progress, random thoughts about beauty, unfounded frustrations with myself, more valid frustrations with the wedding industry, schedules and timelines for treatments and more. The not as good news is that this obsessive documentation wasn’t straightforward or narrative friendly. If I was a different type of person or writer, I might have spent time strategizing how I was going to turn what wound up being over 7 single-spaced pages from my Notes App into a newsletter or 12. But alas, that is not how I operate. I’ll be sharing a makeup breakdown and details of all my skin prep, but I need to spend more time on that, plus I want to wait for all of the pictures to come back. 

Via my own experience and working with dozens of brides-to-be over the past 2+ years, I’ve formed some strong opinions and had lots of big thoughts and feelings. So today, I am going to share a few major takeaways, advice and recommendations that I think can be applied to a lot of situations, wedding or not. 

Endless thank yous again to all of our guest post writers. If you haven’t already, do yourself a favor and read from Sam, Isabelle, Jessie, Sofie and Kali. I hope to do something like this again, probably while I am on my honeymoon in Japan in November. So get brainstorming on pitches and look out for more info in the next few weeks.

“Even doing everything perfectly and having the best routine and getting the best guidance, you still can’t control everything. And events like weddings bring up stress pimples even for queens.”

- Lara Kaiser, esthetician, brow witch and one of the few people I allow to touch my face. In response to the fact that I had to get a cortisone shot the week before my wedding because I had a truly monstrous multi-headed pimple above my upper lip. 

“Ok yeah, maybe we do twice a day.”

- Dr. Sophia Yapalater, my best friend and the officiant of our wedding. Sent in response to a picture of the pimple, after the cortisone did not help and my dermatologist prescribed me antibiotics, which Soph initially said to take once a day.

Excellent advice, but that’s all the attention the pimple is getting today. Let’s move on.

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Believe in the power of ZIIP

I am calling this photo series: Yes, the ZIIP works. My friend took these on film during the after party and I will be honest, I can’t get over my jawline. ZIIP, let’s chat about an ad?! I wrote a deep-dive about ZIIP vs. NuFace a few months ago. 

Yes, the ZIIP works.

Also, it is important to have friends to keep you humble.

It was worth spending time on my hands

I wrote a 2-part series about committing to hand care this year and I’m really happy I followed through. My hands (& bright red polish) were highly visible in photos and as expected at a wedding, my left hand was getting more eyeballs than normal. It felt good to have hands that looked hydrated and well-cared for. My top 3 hand saviors were this for daytime, this for nighttime and the LED glove as much as possible. It’s honestly so easy to incorporate into your routine, just wear it while you’re watching TV.

On the red nail front, I continue to be delighted by my decision. Despite some contrary opinions on appropriate wedding nails, I went with my gut and it was absolutely the right move. I wore Valla 37 gel, the closest I could get to Essie Clambake, may she rest in peace. Marc Jacobs was also getting a silver chrome pedicure 3 feet from me, which was a perfect omen to start my wedding week.

Trust the experts…

I was admittedly a little wary when my beloved hair stylist recommended I come in 10-14 days before my wedding to get my hair cut & colored. Katie has never done me wrong in the 4+ years I’ve been seeing her, so I followed her advice, though in my mind, going closer to the day would mean fresher, better hair color. Obviously she is an expert and was right. I am only able to successfully cosplay as blonde because Katie makes it rooty and lived-in, strategically painting the color on my dark brown hair so that it looks natural as it grows out. It would not have looked as seamless if I had gotten touched up days before. I know this from all of the brides whose skin I prep, but of course in the moment I wasn’t able to apply my own logic: your beauty team has a vested interest in making you feel and look your best. They aren’t going to make recommendations that go against that! 

…but remember they are doing a job for you

You have hired someone to do a job. Like all jobs, it is a lot easier to do your job well when you are given guidance and feedback. Bring pictures and speak up if you don’t like something or have questions. They are the expert, but not a mindreader. When your makeup artist asks you to look in the mirror and see what you think, be honest. The goal is not to please or spare feelings. They want you to be happy! It’s not fun for anyone if a client is unhappy, especially on their wedding day. Of course, be nice, tip well and stay reasonable–a good professional will tell you if something is not possible or recommended and be able to provide alternatives. 

There is nothing else like the CO2 Lift Mask

The best investment you can make the week of an event is a CO2 Lift Mask (ideally 3). I’ve talked about these carboxytherapy gel masks many times before, but I cannot overemphasize how perfectly ready for makeup they made my skin. It was softer than ever, hydrated, calm and bouncy. Exactly the perfect canvas. I was healing from the aforementioned breakout and it helped to drastically reduce the redness. (This is also the mask Kali mentioned in her guest post.)

Originally used only in medical settings post-procedure, it’s basically like a hyperbaric chamber for your face. When you mix the two packets together, it releases carbon dioxide, oxygenating the skin, increasing blood flow, hydration, lifting and more. It’s incredibly healing and reparative, reducing downtime and clinically proven after just 1 use to increase hydration by 117% and improve microcirculation by 28%, which is similar to injected carbon dioxide. Doing a series of 3 or 6 is best–there are a few different recommended protocols depending on goals. I did 3 the week of my wedding. Purchasing info is below and I can help you determine the best protocol if needed.

Take a video at your hair & makeup trial

I had so much fun at my trial. After my stylist finished, we chatted through everything, including minor tweaks we’d make for the big day, like toning down the blush. Before leaving, I took a video of myself walking through the said changes so that we both had a visual reminder and I had something to ease my mind at 3am when I’d inevitably panic about whether we discussed shortening the lash length (we did). It was also just helpful reassurance that I still liked the plan. I highly recommend doing this and make sure you turn your head to capture your look at all angles, especially your profile, since that will be on high display during the ceremony. 

The earlier the better to start experimenting with injections

I got my first and only face injections in December 2022. I wanted to try them way in advance to have ample time to make adjustments. I’ll admit I did think I was being a little overly cautious with timing, but I am so relieved I did it that early. I got half a syringe of filler in each upper cheek area to help with dark circles and a lip flip (Botox right above your upper lip to prevent it from curling in and therefore look larger). I was anticipating wanting or needing more filler, but it looks just as good today as it did nearly 2 years ago and gave me plenty of time to fully appreciate that and avoid getting over eager for more. I loved how the lip flip looked, but absolutely hated the feeling and it took longer than I expected to completely go back to normal.

Someone should do a study on spray tans and mental health and also I perfected my spray tan protocol

One of my goals this summer was to master the art of getting a spray tan. I go from translucent to orange very quickly and can’t be bothered to have a complex body care routine. I like things that are quick and don’t require much focus. That being said, achieving a good spray tan takes practice and patience, so I had to give in a little bit. As I tell all of my clients and Kali touched on last week, the golden rule is nothing new before the wedding. You need to try things out to see how you like them, how they last and have time to make any necessary changes. This might mean a bad spray tan or 2, but it is worth the trouble because a good spray tan makes you feel alive! It’s a mood booster that has you glowing inside and out. My bridesmaid, who had never gotten one before 2 weeks ago, texted me asking what happens if she gets addicted to spray tans. It’s a slippery but relatively risk-free slope!

I tried a few places in NYC and had the greatest success with Audrey at the Tribeca location of Sugared & Bronzed. I told her my goal color is imperceptible, but you can no longer see all of my veins and also avoid my face, but okay to fade into my neck so it looks natural. She nailed it. 

For my actual wedding, I wasn’t in the city, so I used the mobile service Glow2Go. We used them for my sister’s wedding last year and I liked it a lot, so I felt comfortable abandoning Audrey, especially since I had my process down. I do the express and start rinsing riiiiight before the 2 hour mark. Yeah, I bet that sounds like nothing if you have a skin tone to start with, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Also, learn from my mistakes/freak outs: stick to the rinse schedule even if you think it looks too light. It will keep developing after you rinse and you will regret it.

Monday: LILIS Instant Peel pre-shower, Hanni Water Balm and LILIS Firming Serum post-shower

Tuesday: Leg and underarm wax (underarm wax pre-event spray tan is key)

Wednesday: same as Monday. If you have super sensitive skin, skip the Instant Peel on Monday. Be extra with the hydration. Use a lightweight lotion on elbows and knees.

Thursday: Spray tan

Friday and beyond: maintain with Hanni Water Balm and LILIS Firming Serum (water-based, so easy to use and not sticky)

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Office Hours Reminder

Join us for Office Hours on Sunday! This exclusive weekly opportunity is available to paying subscribers.

Every Sunday at 5pm EST, I’ll begin a new thread for the week in Substack Chat, where you can ask me anything. Every Monday from 5-6pm EST, I’ll be in that chat live, answering questions for the hour. That way, if you can’t make it, you can submit any time after 5pm Sunday and still get an answer. If you can make it live, join in! You can ask questions in real time and (hopefully) interact with others in class ;)

Discount Codes

• Hanni: JOLIE15 for 15% off

• LILIS: JOLDEF for 15% off

• ZIIP: ZIIPJOLIE for 10% off

• CO2 Lift: Email hi@joldef.com They’re $100/each and I can give you a little discount on 3+.

you can find all of my discount codes here

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Thanks for reading! Can’t wait to catch up more next week. Leave any thoughts, questions, concerns and Japan recs in the comments.

xx,

Jolie