Our Hands Deserve Better
*said loudly with wide eyes and dramatic hand gestures*
Hey there!
How’s your week been? Hopefully a bit different from mine, but if you, like me, have been dealing with severe hand inflammation and blistering…today is for you/please get in touch.
This newsletter takes a few turns, bear with me. As you’ll soon learn, I wrote most of it via talk-to-text and I’m a wordy gal!
If you’ve heard of Chilblains before, I have to assume you either were here when I had them in January 2022, have read books by the Brontë sisters, have a thing for the Victorian Age or had “COVID toe.” (I strongly advise against looking up pictures as you know Google only likes to show the worst of the worst.)
Chilblains occur when the tiny blood vessels in your extremities contract then expand and leak, causing inflammation, swelling, then blistering, usually when going from cold to warm too quickly. The blisters are itchy, painful and tender. There are ways to temporarily dull the pain, but no real treatment. You basically just have to keep the area warm, dry and let them heal, which can take weeks. When my apartment lost heat for 14 days in January 2022, I developed them on my hands and my feet. I couldn’t walk and could hardly use my hands. It was agonizing. Oddly, the timing was fortunate: I wasn’t set to start giving facials yet and didn’t have any writing deadlines. I kept thinking how horrible it would’ve been otherwise. I couldn’t risk it happening again and became very diligent about keeping my hands warm. I also became a sort of walking Chilblains PSA, which is how I learned from a client that Chilblains were actually very common in the Victorian Era, “It was seen a great deal in the workhouses of Victorian England. And is, in terms of a historical lens, now thought of as a disease which primarily affected the poor of the UK because there would be prolonged cold contact and then rapid warming,” she recently told me.
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Ok now fast forward to the past couple of weeks. Here’s where I tease some exciting updates that I’ll get into more later: I left my job and I’m starting at a new studio in mid-May! I took some time off in between, and had big plans to rest, reset, write and organize my new apartment. All was going great until I noticed something on my right pointer finger. I figured it was a callus from my dog’s leash. A few more bumps showed up, they were itchy and painful and I started to panic. Though significantly milder, the symptoms were the same as in 2022 and I assumed Chilblains had gotten me once again.
For my own edification, I started researching historical records of Chilblains and discovered a treasure trove of hysterical documents. I don’t know what kind of awards are given out to meticulously organized passion projects, but Moira Allen, the archivist behind Victorianvoices.net should win them all. As I was reading through suggested treatments and other Victorian-age advice, it dawned on me that this would be an interesting newsletter and that I could include images of text in lieu of typing. I became particularly obsessed with an article from the 1894 issue of Cassell’s Family Magazine, that somehow manages to describe Chilblains more accurately than any modern article despite the verbose Victorian age sentences. Some of the author’s advice is as relevant, if not more relevant, today: “…it is best to consult a doctor, as much harm may be done by taking the advice of inexperienced people or even by following one’s own prescription.”
This time I only had a few fingers impacted instead of my whole hand. Still, you can’t do much with just your right thumb, pinkies and ring fingers and I was set to start training for my new job soon, so I sought out a dermatologist. After describing my history of Chilblains and my current situation, she concurred that while they were similar, she didn’t think what I currently had was Chilblains. In fact, she bestowed upon me a new diagnosis: dyshidrotic eczema. Not only that, but she could prescribe something to help. She explained that it’s actually common in personal care professionals whose hands are constantly being washed and exposed to harsh chemicals.
I was, and still am, shook to my core!!! I couldn’t believe there was a type of eczema I had never heard of, let alone a type commonly associated with my profession. I also couldn’t believe that I had spent hours and hours of my time putting together a Chilblains-focused newsletter using mostly talk-to-text and swipe-to-text. But then I started having bigger, more abstract feelings.
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My hands have always been one of my best assets. Pre-COVID, it was purely for how they looked: slender fingers, long nails and even nail beds. I would get manicures every 2 weeks and they made me feel good and put together. Nail techs always asked if I was a hand model. Friends encouraged it so much that I eventually looked into it and planned to pursue it on the side. But then COVID hit and I chose a different career for my hands.
When I enrolled in esthetician school, I wasn’t intending to give facials professionally. I wanted my license to supplement my writing and other work. I wanted to have some authority and expertise and to stop feeling imposter syndrome in the skincare industry. When we started hands-on training during practical, I had to keep my nails short and bare. I said half-jokingly that it was the worst part of being an esthetician and why I would never give facials long-term. But the joke was on me–I loved giving facials. So much. I loved touching skin, learning from it, watching it react, creating routines, making people feel confident. And those same physical attributes that made me love my hands also made them particularly good for facials.
Eventually I decided that I wanted to give facials part-time, but I’ll admit the nail-requirement gave me pause. I wasn’t prohibited from wearing polish, but I did have to keep them shorter than I ever had in my life and I hated it. I still do. I had to do some real advance planning before my sister’s wedding and you bet your ass I have been strategizing how to have my beloved long nails at my wedding in September. (Yes, I could wear press-ons or extensions, but I don’t want to!)
But I knew what to expect with my nails from the beginning. It was an adjustment, but not an unexpected one. What was unexpected was what giving facials would do to my hands and to my relationship with them. I didn’t realize how much I took them for granted, which sounds like a dumb thing to say, but how could I have fully understood beforehand? Facials are hard on your hands. Your joints get tired, fingers lock up, and you’re constantly positioning them in different ways. You’re giving massages, doing extractions, holding big tools and tiny tools. But more than that, it’s the washing. The sanitizing. The chemicals. The gloves. One time I tried counting how many times I washed my hands during work but lost count at 30. In one facial I use hand sanitizer upwards of a dozen times. My hands come into contact with skincare acids that exfoliate and cleaning acids that sterilize. I became accustomed to going home with red, raw and sore hands.
Before I started giving facials, I would have said I took excellent care of my hands, that they’re in tip top shape. Truth is, I just didn’t put them through much and had youth on my side. Your hands show your age, people say and I internalized, always trying my best to apply sunscreen and moisturize. After I recovered from Chilblains, my hands looked normal, so except for being cognizant of their temperature, I didn’t change how I cared for them. A few months later, I started giving upwards of 15 facials a week and my hands took on a whole new set of responsibilities. I noticed they looked and felt different, but for whatever reason, I didn’t feel a lot of urgency there. I thought, my hands are great. They’ve always been cooperative, they were born to give facials. I’m an esthetician, skin is my job, I know how to take care of my hands. I always remind people not to forget their hands. I would never forget my hands.
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Something shifted this past February. I used to smile when I looked at my hands and now I didn’t recognize them. They were dry and wrinkly and red. That’s not how I wanted them to look on my wedding day, so I made a plan. I bought cotton gloves and researched retinol hand creams. I ordered a hand LED device. I started applying hand-shield lotion every morning and night. In the midst of all this, I had to move, so I packed everything away and told myself, and my hands, we’d hit the ground running as soon as I was settled in my new apartment.
The other week when my fingers started swelling and I assumed Chilblains, I was dumbfounded because it was not winter and also because of the timing. Once again, I happened to be in an in-between period between giving facials. I shared this observation with my new boss and her response surprised me. She told me she sees inflammatory flare-ups like this often and almost always after a period of stress, as if the body knows it can release, adding I think people disregard how connected our nervous system is to all of our bodily functions. The body keeps score.
I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. I still can’t. My hands know, they always have. They knew when I needed to take a break, to slow down. For years they’ve been telling me to pay attention and take better care of them. Still, they didn’t want to betray me, so they held on until they couldn’t. My hands, my poor hands. I had forgotten about them. I won’t do it again and now I won’t let you. We can’t forget about our hands. We need to take care them.
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The exact cause of dyshidrotic eczema is unknown, but excessive moisture is considered a main risk factor. Knowing this, it seems insane to me that we don’t all have this condition. It’s a miracle that we don’t! As we’ve established, I wash my hands more than the average person, but we still all get our hands wet all the time. This is bad. Even worse, we strip them of moisture and leave them out to dry, our skin barriers left vulnerable on the body part in contact with the most. We do this over and over and over and we do not reapply enough moisturizer or sunscreen to keep up. If you’re reading this and thinking that you do…do you really? Really? Every single time you wash your hands you’re reapplying? I would never in six million years wash my face and then just leave it like that, but I sure as hell do that to my hands. Or at least I did.
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After speaking this newsletter into existence and editing with a few of my fingers, I planned to include a bunch of tips, advice & recommendations to usher us into our new hand care era. But my fingers are telling me they’re losing steam and I am listening, so I will leave you with just one and save the rest for next week:
Every single person needs to be wearing these machine-washable cotton gloves to bed. Slather your favorite hand cream, slip them on and wake up with fresh baby hands.
How does one sign up for a consultation or facial with you?
I promised we would get back to this! This question was submitted on my very last day of work at my old studio, which I took as a sign of something. Timing, people, timing!
You can book a facial with me (and my fully recovered hands) starting May 14th at Practise NYC in Tribeca! I will be there 2-3 days a week. On the booking page, If you’ve never gotten a facial with me before, select from “Intro Facials.” If you have gotten a facial with me in the past, select “Facials” then choose your desired length of time.
I am also excited to share that I’ve found a space to rent a few days every month in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn! Facials will be by appointment only. Email hi@joldef.com to request booking info. There are some openings on May 17th and 18th.
I am in the middle of restructuring my online consultations, but they will be available to book very soon. You can email hi@joldef.com to be notified.
Office Hours Reminder
Join us for Office Hours on Sunday! This exclusive weekly opportunity is available to paying subscribers.
Every Sunday at 5pm EST, I’ll begin a new thread for the week in Substack Chat, where you can ask me anything. Every Monday from 5-6pm EST, I’ll be in that chat live, answering questions for the hour. That way, if you can’t make it, you can submit any time after 5pm Sunday and still get an answer. If you can make it live, join in! You can ask questions in real time and (hopefully) interact with others in class ;)
Discount Codes
Reminder: two more weeks of 20% off Sachi Skin with code JOLIE20
you can find all of my discount codes here
Have a great week!
xx,
Jolie
This was such an interesting and informative read, I’d never heard of either condition before! Also a quick/ possibly dumb question about the cotton gloves, do you rewear a pair or wear a new pair every night? Best of luck with the new job!!
Oh my gosh when you were describing your symptoms it sounded so much like what I have- and then it all made sense when you said it was that eczema. I can get that too! It's sooooooo itchy. I haven't had it since my mom died and covid - very stressful times. And you just moved again! Hope your hands start feeling more relaxed soon!