About Me & Then Some
an unplanned personal essay about why I love what I do
Hello!
Happy (two days late) National Esthetician Day! I trust you all enjoyed your celebrations.
Earlier this year, I published one of my most popular posts to-date about how to find an esthetician. A few years back I wrote a 101 guide to facials with my friend & fellow esthetician, Lara Kaiser and just a few months ago, we had a follow-up guest post by Jessie, another esthetician. But I realized that somehow, even though I feel like I talk about it constantly, I’ve never written about my own esthetician journey in my newsletter. So in honor of this very important holiday, I’m going to share what led me to change my career path and what being an esthetician means to me. This was originally going to be more of an extended intro post, but surprise surprise, I had a lot of feelings.
Don’t forget to fill out my anonymous survey and tell me about the best beauty-related gift you’ve ever received and also Sachi’s annual 20% off sale ends today.
Since nearly all of my writing is related to skincare, I could just say I’m an esthetician, but I consider myself both an esthetician and a writer. For one, it’s literally true—I split my time between giving facials/consults and writing—but more so because I don’t think “esthetician” fully captures the whole thing [gestures widely]. I never thought I’d be in the beauty industry, let alone giving facials. On paper, my background looks unexpected and how I got here seems kind of random. But there’s actually a lot of overlap between what I used to do and what I do now. The sense of responsibility I feel and what drives me everyday goes way beyond a love of skincare and a knack for words. It’s understanding the importance of personal connection and care. I take seriously my role as an educator and communicator. I’ve always loved beauty, but I don’t think that’s what makes me really good at my job.
I grew up at the Sephora in the Westchester Mall. The very first skincare I remember buying was the Clinique 3-Step Skincare System Type 1 for Very Dry to Dry Skin. It’s what my mom used so I figured it would work for me, never mind the fact that I did not have and have never had dry skin. I kept on using the Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion for years. Funnily enough, I don’t think I’ve ever looked at the ingredients before this week. Who knew it contains 2 of my favorite humectants, glycerin and urea?!
Beyond the lotion, I don’t have clear memories of anything I used in college until the 2015 launch of Glossier’s now-discontinued masks: Mega Greens Galaxy Pack and Moisturizing Moon Mask. I vividly remember picking up my pink bubble mailer from my college mailroom and feeling Incredibly Cool.
I majored in psychology with a minor in gender studies and was heavily involved with public health initiatives on campus and in the community. I now recognize this as a passion for providing a safe and welcoming space to ask questions, get scientifically informed and unbiased answers and importantly, to help people feel comfortable in their bodies.
After graduating I was awarded a Fulbright grant and moved to South Africa to teach English and sex ed in a public high school. I took the GRE and fully intended to get my masters in public health when the grant was up.
Until I was 23, I’d only ever had the occasional pimple, but while in South Africa I developed full blown adult acne all over my cheeks, chin and jawline—the painful, red, inflamed type of acne that’s both physically and mentally distressing. It was the first time I remember feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. I was self-conscious to be teaching high school students, still thinking at the time that acne was a teenage issue. Being a science-focused educator, I became obsessed with learning everything I could about the science of skincare and ingredients. Coincidentally, Instagram launched Stories that same summer, giving me a platform to write about what I was learning and document my progress. I didn’t see anyone else sharing filter-free pictures of their acne and despite my embarrassment, felt compelled to fill the gap. I felt like I had found a sweet spot in my interests and skill set: breaking down science and communicating about the human body in ways that were accessible and relatable.
I moved back to the states at peak 10-step routine. Not yet understanding the importance of consistency, I did a lot of experimenting with products. The results weren’t all great, but I developed a fondness for K-Beauty, ingredient innovation and became a true sunscreen devotee. I tried all sorts of prescriptions and pledged loyalty to Spironolactone. I saved up for as many facials as I could. I became the go-to friend (and friend-of-friend-of-friend…) for all things skin. Slowly but surely, I began to understand my skin and clear my acne. Ironically, one of the early gifts Alex gave me were my first LEDs, the now discontinued Neutrogena wand and mask. This fact feels so integral to our story that I mentioned it in my vows. I’ve always believed in the power of LED!
I put off applying to grad school for various unrelated reasons and worked different jobs in the city government and startup world in customer service, community outreach, product and user experience. At the time I felt a bit all over the place, but looking back, again I see the common thread of making others feel empowered and informed about their options by clearly communicating (and improving) how things work.
All the while I was making Instagram stories and developing a small but very devoted following, some of which are still here (hi!!!!) At some point I decided I wanted more room to write about what I was learning and testing, so I started my newsletter in the winter of 2017/2018. Before they started ranking based on revenue, I was the top skincare newsletter round these parts.
This all felt really validating, but a large part of me still felt like a fraud. No matter how much I learned, I had no real credentials in the beauty industry. I didn’t have the courage to leave my full-time job to pursue a completely different career…until I got laid off in March 2020 and realized that talking, learning and writing about skin was the only thing that brought me joy in an otherwise very bleak time. My friend Sam convinced me it was the right move to enroll in esthetician school.
I entered school thinking I would continue writing and teaching after getting my license. I just wanted authority to talk about skin in a more official capacity. I truly did not think I would ever want to give facials until the day we started hands-on training and all the lightbulbs went off. There is nothing like touching skin to learn about it and to understand how varied and individual it is. It was fascinating to watch how skin responded to products and touch, and it was also unexpectedly therapeutic. The tactile connection was as powerful as the emotional one. It felt so natural and comfortable for me to be talking to people about their skin, answering questions, normalizing experiences, validating concerns and helping them to feel more comfortable in their skin. I graduated with honors and pursed a hybrid of writing, consulting and giving facials. I created a career that blends my passion for skin with all of the skills and values I’ve acquired from other pursuits. It always sounds forced when people say this, but I really feel that this is exactly what I was meant to do.
Sometimes people ask why I chose esthetician school over med school. If I love skin so much, wouldn’t I want to be a dermatologist? (A good response to that question is asking them why they didn’t go to med school either.) I don’t think anyone really means to be offensive, but the subtext is that dermatology is the superior skin-related profession. No one ever asks a dermatologist why they didn’t go to esthetician school.
Sure, I love science and am fascinated by the human body, but I never wanted to be a doctor. An esthetician’s work and expertise is what feels natural to me and what I’m drawn to.
Recently, dermatologist Dr. Whitney Bowe, posted a Reel with examples of when she would refer her patients to an esthetician to work together on the patient’s skin goals. I thought this was really cool to see! I’ve also seen a lot of discussion recently about fact-checking and the importance of relevant expertise in the beauty industry. As Dr. Andrea Love says in the screenshot below, there is a lot of overlap between “the roles, training, expertise and skills” but while related, they are not the same. She’s specifically talking about scientists vs. clinicians, but it can be applied to everyone in the skincare industry. And pretty much every industry.
I have so much respect for dermatologists and our work complements each other in many ways. Estheticians have a distinctly different intimate relationship with skin and with our clients (for starters, we call them clients, not patients). Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but we are more familiar with the vast product landscape and the art of building a routine, which we do with our extensive training about skin types, conditions and ingredients. We spend significantly more time with clients during each appointment and over the long term. It’s a different type of relationship. You go to dermatologists for yearly checkups and specific skin concerns. They aren’t giving facial massages, deep cleaning pores or dermaplaning peach fuzz. They’re using their extensive training and skills to perform advanced procedures, diagnose and prescribe. We’re all doing a lot of healing.
I get no greater satisfaction than helping people feel confident in their skin and how to take care of it. I strive to make skincare approachable, accessible and enjoyable. I know firsthand how being uncomfortable in your skin can manifest into mental and emotional distress. Our skin is the first thing other people see and unfortunately society has primed us to make judgments on that alone. It’s not good for our psyche. It’s isolating. (It can also be physically painful. If you’ve never had deep cystic acne, imagine a mosquito bite that’s also a stubbed toe. It can itch and throb and if you hit it the wrong way or god forbid, turn over in your sleep, it will ruin your night.) I’m also 31, chronically online and not immune to being influenced. I know how overwhelming and confusing it is to navigate pretty much anything online. It’s exhausting to see new launches, viral hacks and trending tips every single day. I’m proud to be able to use my expertise to help make sense of it all.
So sure, going to esthetician school might be oddly trendy now and significantly more affordable than medical school, but the best estheticians I know didn’t get into the profession for money, fame or due to lack of intelligence or stamina. Like myself, they’re driven by something more than just skincare and specific to esthetics. They’re also really smart.
This essay is dedicated to Grandpa George, whose greatest joy was watching his family thrive. ❤️
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Whew, that was a lot, thanks for reading! Only fair you tell me about something about yourself in the comments.
Have a great week and give someone a big hug today.
xx,
Jolie
We are so lucky to have your healing powers and your writing!
you’re such a natural communicator and educator… the beauty world is lucky to have you!